Are you thinking about having a modern wedding instead of a traditional one?
Both as a wedding photographer and a person, I really think the wedding is one of the most beautiful moments of a lifetime. This is a ceremony to celebrate the love between two people, and, for me, there are a few things that can be more special than this.
However, it isn’t all rainbows. Sometimes, while planning a wedding, we are so overwhelmed by what’s expected and all the “you-have-to-do-this-and-that” that we tend to forget what it is really about. You see, there’re always a lot of expectations about weddings: the clothes, the pre-wedding events, the band or DJ, the food… and the list goes on and on!
One of the biggest expectations that I feel influences a lot is related to all the wedding traditions. Some of them have no importance or meaning to us, but we have seen them over and over again over the years and almost feel obligated to do them just like everyone else.
Let’s face it, some of the wedding traditions – most of them, actually – are completely outdated. And, as we get more and more freedom to plan a wedding that matches your taste and beliefs as a couple, some of these traditions just don’t make sense anymore.
Although in the list below I mention some traditions that I don’t think make sense today, I want to tell you this is just my opinion. My point is not to make you change your mind about having these moments on your wedding day, but rather to encourage you to think about each one. Thinking about my own wedding, I didn’t question many of these traditions at the time, and if it were today, I wouldn’t do some of them.
Above all things, I believe that a wedding should always be about the people who are getting married. So, if you really think that the wedding traditions I’ll mention in this blog post make sense to you, you should really go for it! It’s your special day, you’re the one making the rules!
5 Traditions that we Should Leave Behind on a Modern Wedding
#1. The Bouquet Toss
I must confess that I did it on my wedding day but, if I was getting married today, I wouldn’t do it again. If you think about it, this is a very sexist tradition that perpetuates the idea that all women want to get married – and are desperate for it (you just have to think about all the movies where women run and fight each other over the bouquet).
#2. The couple shouldn’t see each other before the wedding
You can almost smell the dust on this one, right? Currently, most couples live together before they decide to get married, so what is the point of not being allowed to see each other before the ceremony? If you want a modern wedding, you can get ready together or even have a first look before the ceremony, something like a moment of contemplation, just the two of you.
#3. Being “given away”
Walking down the aisle is for many people one of the most memorable moments in a wedding. But why should a person be “given away” by the father? If we think about it, this is another sexist tradition that in its essence means that the father is giving away his daughter or son to the person to whom they will “belong” from now on. Why not enter alone, with more than one special person or even enter together as a couple?! All possibilities are plausible as long as they make sense to you!
However, in my personal case, this tradition would be the one I would keep, not because of the tradition itself, but because of the person my father was in my life.
#4. The white princess dress
The white princess dress is one of the most famous wedding traditions, after all, the bride should feel special on her day. But, if you want a modern wedding, why not change the image of the traditional bride? The princess bride can give way to the empowered and powerful woman bride. This can happen by choosing a different colour or even a different kind of outfit. Why not replace the princess dress with a more practical, sexier dress or even a jumpsuit or a suit? Something that makes you look more like yourself and highlights your personality.
#5. Bachelor parties by gender
We all know this one: women should invite only other women and men should invite only men for their bachelor parties. This might have seemed to make sense a few years ago – and I mean, many many years ago – when there was a clear gender division in the different activities and hobbies of a couple. Nowadays, it is normal for each element of the couple to be friends with both women and men. So why continue to perpetuate this meaningless division?
So, as I mentioned in the beginning of this blog post, this is just my opinion. I truly believe and always will defend that a wedding should be the reflection of the couple that are getting married. So, the choice about what to do and how to do it should be entirely yours.
If you always dreamed about a traditional wedding with all the moments I mentioned before, you should do it. But, on the other hand, if you want to have a modern wedding and these traditions just don’t make sense to you, follow your heart and make it your own special day.
And, if you are looking for the best inspiration for a modern wedding, you can check out my favourite blogs here.
